Thursday, February 9, 2012


‘Look what you’ve done now, you little shit!', the incandescent roaring of her mother terrified her  but she stood her ground as the large, stuffed turtle was thrown at her with all the strength that accompanies fury. The girl rocked back and forth, clutching the rescued animal to her chest, its warm velvety face looking up at her; desperately seeking reassurance.
After searching for the toy, she’d asked her father if he knew where Chuckles was and so after short, fat, muffled words in the kitchen, he’d sent his wife to retrieve it from the dustbin where she’d thrown it in spite, and then he’d left for work without regret.
 In the space between mother and daughter, a noise began to leak from between the gritted teeth of the child- hissing slowly at first but building and quickening as the force of that noise levered open her jaw in a long, low, feral wail. Her pain insisted on being heard before the twin lights of defiance and hatred found their way to the gallery of her eyes and  prompted her mother to leave, making sure that she’d locked the door behind her.

Part Of The 5 sentence fiction blog hop


  1. That was incredibly powerful! I love the imagery it evokes. Such sadness and anger. Wonderfully written!

  2. Wow... Powerful is right! Very intense.

  3. Thanks both, it's fantastic that you stopped by. Welcome!

    I like writing in condensed form because it really makes me focus on what I have to get across and pack everything in tightly.

  4. I agree. Some extremely powerful emotions you packed in there!

    "Her pain insisted on being heard before the twin lights of defiance..." awesome awesome awesome sentence!

  5. Your encouragement is greatly received, especially since I don't let the fiction out of the box too often x

  6. Thanks for joining Five Sentence Fiction! Such an emotion packed piece. Gorgeous writing!!!

  7. Hi Lillie

    Thanks, and thanks again for posting the competition. I enjoyed the challenge.