Until this weekend, I had not had a night out since I went to my friend's funeral in January.
Well I had; I had been to the dogs and although many,many people will say that I have been going to the dogs for some time, it was in fact my first time and I was so very tired after my first week of postie-ing that I was struggling to know where I was. Scarily, being teetotal, I was the designated driver on that night and could barely keep my eyes open. Oh yes, the others thought I was a barrel of fun!
But the funeral was a different kettle of fish. Although the day was filled with emotion and sadness, it was also powered by laughter and memories and love and hugs; faces that I have loved my entire adult life surrounded me and cushioned me, leaned on me, let me lean on them and we all told each other, as ever, how important we are to each other. It was as though a carpet was being weaved with the strands of lives that had already been lived together. On that day, they were fused together for eternity - an unbreakable bond.
I remembered my friend from the meal we had shared 8 months ago. (I was the one of only 2 members of a large 'gang' who had moved away from out hometown but neither of our ties have been severed). He had been so excited to have a meal in his favourite restaurant, just the two of us. He made it absolutely clear that it was his treat and that he was proud to do that. He had very severe difficulties to battle with his whole life, my friend, and so money wasn't always available. He also had a bit of a reputation for having mothballs in his wallet. He showed me pictures of his new nephew, of whom he was incredibly proud -he had filled his life with meaning he said. G had never had a partner, I suspect this was because he felt his difficulties were a barrier and because he believed this, it became a self fulfilling prophecy.
Well I had; I had been to the dogs and although many,many people will say that I have been going to the dogs for some time, it was in fact my first time and I was so very tired after my first week of postie-ing that I was struggling to know where I was. Scarily, being teetotal, I was the designated driver on that night and could barely keep my eyes open. Oh yes, the others thought I was a barrel of fun!
But the funeral was a different kettle of fish. Although the day was filled with emotion and sadness, it was also powered by laughter and memories and love and hugs; faces that I have loved my entire adult life surrounded me and cushioned me, leaned on me, let me lean on them and we all told each other, as ever, how important we are to each other. It was as though a carpet was being weaved with the strands of lives that had already been lived together. On that day, they were fused together for eternity - an unbreakable bond.
I remembered my friend from the meal we had shared 8 months ago. (I was the one of only 2 members of a large 'gang' who had moved away from out hometown but neither of our ties have been severed). He had been so excited to have a meal in his favourite restaurant, just the two of us. He made it absolutely clear that it was his treat and that he was proud to do that. He had very severe difficulties to battle with his whole life, my friend, and so money wasn't always available. He also had a bit of a reputation for having mothballs in his wallet. He showed me pictures of his new nephew, of whom he was incredibly proud -he had filled his life with meaning he said. G had never had a partner, I suspect this was because he felt his difficulties were a barrier and because he believed this, it became a self fulfilling prophecy.
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