Monday, December 12, 2011

Not tippling but wobbling.

Dear Everyone Everywhere

Frikkin' Fantabulous Festivities to you all!

I am sat sitting in my lounge and despite appearances, absolukely sober although I feel a teensy bit squiffy as some sort of vertigo-like-thingummy sees me career to the left every now and again. I've already smashed 3 baubles and a shepherd.
It seems to be catching because I had a lunchtime phone call from school to pick up The Elf who had a migraine coming on. It is a funny sort of a migraine as it means you have to lie in bed fully clothed with the curtains shut and the light off feeling sick, whilst chomping your way through your lunch-box. Then you fancy watching TV with the sound off, followed by the urgent need to make paper chains with a dressing gown over your school uniform.
Hope I catch it!

So, as I said, I am sat sitting in my lounge with a blanket and leaning slightly to the left, feeling smug at having been teetotal for 7 months. My liver must be at least partly regenerated now. It's probably in a Christopher Ecclestone state before rebirthing as the full David Tennant or perhaps Matt Smith. I actually prefer the latter, but  I wouldn't be prepared to die for the cause. Anyway, wonky ears, stuffed nose.. this may not be heading in a Yuletide-supportive direction.

So this December has seen Short Shorts get her first proper Saturday job in a shoe shop! Yes, the heavens have surely been smiling upon the house of Pammy. I may have to open an eBay shop to make space for all the new ones coming in.

Oh yes, and her GCSE's are looming large but that's not nearly so exciting as SHOES! and £4.50 an hour! Her photography goes from strength to strength and so if you have an old Apple Mac or photoshop to donate then a) how fantastic! Thank you
 b) Mug!

Snoryboy as we know, was let go by his old footie team which broke his heart .......but only briefly because a much better team has taken him on and plays him in a much preferred position. I am supremely happy about this as there is a more approachable brand of 'soccer-mom' in this team. No more Billy-no-mates for me on the sidelines. Look how supportive I am being here, despite the December temperatures!

His Duke of Edinburgh Bronze has been completed under duress with 2 full packets of plasters and was successful -from his point of view- only because it left his flapjack intake entirely unregulated.
School is not a problem to The Snorer despite the fact that something fluey/glandular kept him off school for a whole term.

The Elf is as ever, gregarious, happy-go-lucky, cheerful and energetic. It's infuriating. Secondary school has done little if anything to curb this. There are not as many hospital appointments or meetings as there used to be, but not quite so many snuggles either. She is a tall, willowy young lady.
Sometimes, all these combined factors, make me wonder if she's mine. There's probably an 11 year old, lazy, miserable over-eating high achiever stuck somewhere in a giggling,clean- living bob-sledding family; rammed into and overflowing out of a lycra suit,  with doughnuts hidden in a helmet that receives Sky. 

We have just hosted our 3rd and 4th couchsurfers. They were lovely. We wanted to keep them; two Italian sisters. They were unfortunate in that they wanted to be here for the Christmas fair but arrived just as it was winding down and getting dark. They wanted to see Burghley but even though I zoomed them there in the car, it was too dark to see it. They did however, see a deer. I found myself hoping there were no Italian deers, just so that we'd have offered them something unusual...maybe I should have ran it over.  Then they opted to help me with the Christmas decorations just as weariness befell me and  so they were treated to an interminable X factor final before they sensibly gave up hope and went to the pub....where the landlord informed them it was 15 minutes to closing time. Afterwards they enjoyed a fitful sleep on my sofa before being dropped off at a service station on the A1 to begin hitch-hiking back the way they'd come. They were only in the UK for 4 days. We know how to give foreigners a good time!

Anyways, back to me, me me! I just had another article accepted for the local rag and have been trying to get a festival goods business up and running and have had quite enough time- thank you very much - away from consultancy and advocacy.
So it's all systems go in 2012. If I ever get the websites functional.
Keep an eye on me at  and Now that I know you are watching, I will have to work on them.


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