Saturday, October 22, 2011

weekend rewind midweek post- post to at the bottom of the garden in a couple of days

 My current incarnation is Postcard Pam Goes Large!  Come and join me there.
Remind me to give you my  things to do with shower curtains list in a bit. Scroll down if you are in a hurry. We might need a laugh later and I think that you must have dozens of things that haven't even crossed my mind. Think on't whilst I navel gaze.

I am not sure that I like being self aware.  In fact, I fucking resent it at the moment. I can live with the 'need to write' bit - that's taken as read. Boom Boom! 

Or maybe an exchange?

I would be prepared to trade it in for halitosis, psoriasis or ferrets. They all have their challenges. I'd still not have it easy but there would be a margin for mischief.
Psoriasis can be scratched and fashioned into a profile of George Clooney, halitosis can be used as a legal weapon and ferrets, wellies and trouser-legs has always been a popular combination for farcical mirth.

I really liked drinking too much and getting flirty (and the rest Spikey) with someone's husband. I don't want to know better! The guilt and self flagellation for weeks afterwards was very nearly worth it once.

Miss Venice Beach by rickeyrephotoHow else would I have half-learned so many musical instruments or very nearly set sail on a cruise ship,  lead singer with an elderly show band?   Oh stop it! I'd have phoned the kids as soon as I was on dry land. What do you think Pot Noodle is for?

Oh, and my shoe collection is to die for, darling! I know some people splash out on cars when they are on a high but not me, I risked the mortgage for sexy feet.
You don't need to be able to walk in them, art is worth more if it's one of a pair!
Still got a scar on my knee from these ones.

But, I used to be childlike and innocent in the boundless joy that I had. Now, I will never have it again because I know there will always be a heavy price to be paid. There will always be responsibility to be taken. There will always be a voice in my head, telling me that I have drifted into the dangerous waters of Golightlyland.
The tiny oases of unfettered joy in the midst of a difficult life, will never again be there without a bloody great fluttering flag that says 'For chrissakes, take those shoes off and do us both a favour.'  Killjoy!

Shower curtains
Have you had a think? Add your suggestions to my list.
Things to do with shower curtains: 

sit, wrap, shelter, fashion into a skirt, have a shower, pretend to be a shower, run a puppet booth, do magic tricks (the floating ball is always a winner). 

Repair a tent, make a tent, make bandages (though they'd be a bit crap) make a flag, lie on the beach, lie in the mud, cut a hole and make a poncho, rig up a partition, provide a makeshift loo door in the middle of a field , tie yourself to your friend so you don't get lost -either pissed or in 
busy shopping malls, shred and use as strips for waxing (ouch!).

Bedding for gerbils, making steam puddings, wedding veil, turban and finally - use for packing your toothbrush, pants and wetwipes in, tying to the end of a long stick and leaving home to seek your fortune.

 Spikey has left the building.x


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