Don't you mean Postwoman?
No, actually! I always wanted to be a postman; it's traditional and as you can plainly see, I have the trousers for it.
Before I start, you will see that I am the very proud owner of the new Kindred Spirit award. The Lovely Sarah Mac awarded it to me, and she is one of the reasons that I continue to blog. When I began, I knew I wanted an outlet for myself but didn't realise I'd be opening the door to friends. It has been a surprise, delight and support to me. She is definitely a kindred spirit and in her fantastic blog, I sometimes feel she is my West Country doppleganger. However, since she is tall and willowy, more like a negative of my much shorter, rounder self.
I look forward to welcoming any new friends to PP and to finding more kindred spirits x
So, things a Postman says:
MofP: Oh, I know Hoochter Chucter!
silence pin drop very quiet bit more silence nothing
Me: Horrible isn't it?
MofP: Didn't like to say.
And finally, an anecdote.
During the course of my day, I come into contact, either hither or thither with young men. One in particular blushes profusely every time he sees me and finds it difficult to keep eye contact.
I was just congratulating myself on 'life left in the old dog yet' syndrome when, in a rare moment of self awareness, I realised that the poor young man is mortified because a middle-aged tubby woman from Hoochter Chuchter looks at him with the clear desire to eat him with a spoon.
* Names have been changed to protect the innocent (and me from being stabbed)
No, actually! I always wanted to be a postman; it's traditional and as you can plainly see, I have the trousers for it.
Before I start, you will see that I am the very proud owner of the new Kindred Spirit award. The Lovely Sarah Mac awarded it to me, and she is one of the reasons that I continue to blog. When I began, I knew I wanted an outlet for myself but didn't realise I'd be opening the door to friends. It has been a surprise, delight and support to me. She is definitely a kindred spirit and in her fantastic blog, I sometimes feel she is my West Country doppleganger. However, since she is tall and willowy, more like a negative of my much shorter, rounder self.
I look forward to welcoming any new friends to PP and to finding more kindred spirits x
So, things a Postman says:
- Knock! Knock! Knock! Good afternoon Sir, can I have your mail back, it's for next door
- Ratatatat! Hello Sir, can I give you this? (hands over awkward package and clocks the customer looking expectantly at the pile of mail in
myhis/her hand) Yes, you may have more mail Sir, but I actually start at the other end of the street and , well your parcel was getting on my nerves Customer(gamely): See you soon then.
- May I say Sir, that is the most splendiferous moustache!
- Roll up the magazine and the minute the dog grabs it, pull it straight back out through the letterbox quick! It won't do that again - but it wasn't me who told you.
- Knock! Knock! Knock! I am very sorry to ask you this Madam, but can you take me to 49a please. I've looked and looked.
- Sign here, Sir. Print on the top then sign on the bottom. Do you have a pen?
- Knock Knock ! Sorry Sir, Just returning your pen.
- It's not so bad as long as you're working
- Yes thanks, it is cold enough for me
- It's OK if you keep moving
- Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I hope that's a dog's toy!
- Yes your post is a bit damp but if you would care to look at me for a moment then I think we can put this into perspective.
- Hahahaha! No Sir, I can't take that to Basingstoke.
- That frikkin dog from number 50 nearly had my hand off through the letterbox this morning!
- There is blood all over the mail for my route this morning. Who would be so unprofessional? What if they had something? Why didn't they get a plaster? After bleeding on the first 20, you'd think they'd have sought help, unbeliev...... .........Boss, where's the first aid box? I've cut my finger!
- Haha! No, I didn't manage to take your mail to Basingstoke.
- You can leave your handbag in the depot no worries. No one will touch it. Best take your uniform home though.... ........
- Either number 52 has bought an identically vicious dog, or the one from number 50 has dug a tunnel!
- Ha..Basingstoke was lovely, Thanks.
- Isn't that your telephone ringing? My Mum's fine, Thanks for asking? Erm, telephone.. No Dad isn't too well. Tel... No my Mum isn't Jackie. Answer your frikking phone!
- Member of Public: That's not a local accent is it?
MofP: Oh, I know Hoochter Chucter!
silence pin drop very quiet bit more silence nothing
Me: Horrible isn't it?
MofP: Didn't like to say.
And finally, an anecdote.
During the course of my day, I come into contact, either hither or thither with young men. One in particular blushes profusely every time he sees me and finds it difficult to keep eye contact.
I was just congratulating myself on 'life left in the old dog yet' syndrome when, in a rare moment of self awareness, I realised that the poor young man is mortified because a middle-aged tubby woman from Hoochter Chuchter looks at him with the clear desire to eat him with a spoon.
* Names have been changed to protect the innocent (and me from being stabbed)
