Is what I keep forgetting to do.
A letter arrived from Short Shorts' school saying she was on behaviour report and I very nearly choked on my ryvita! I was glibly opening it thinking it would be the usual gushing praise...
" We are pleased to inform you that your daughter -SS - has been awarded the Victoria Cross for Bravery in the dinner queue"
Or "During morning break, and despite being over an hour away from the shoreline, SS averted disaster on the high seas by collecting all the undergarments from lost property and sewing them together to make a pungent and highly visible coating for a lighthouse- that's- bulb- had- gone; thence saving two dinghys and a narrow boat from certain unpleasantness"
That's the sort of thing I am used to getting through the post where Short Shorts is concerned.
Luckily, just before I texted her at her Dad's to tell her that she was dead to me now, I read the small print which qualified itself by saying ' for English homework only'.
When I called school, the thing was muddied further as there had been an error in the letter and a report I should have seen and no-one from school had thought to inform Short Shorts of a problem or the letter.
In the meantime this produced in SS many tears, a wish to leave school and a bit of awkwardness since we were sitting on the bar stools in the very see through window of Costa's with a piece of carrot cake the size of my handbag and a daughter face down in it.
I picked her hair out the icing and nibbled round it.
A letter arrived from Short Shorts' school saying she was on behaviour report and I very nearly choked on my ryvita! I was glibly opening it thinking it would be the usual gushing praise...
" We are pleased to inform you that your daughter -SS - has been awarded the Victoria Cross for Bravery in the dinner queue"
Or "During morning break, and despite being over an hour away from the shoreline, SS averted disaster on the high seas by collecting all the undergarments from lost property and sewing them together to make a pungent and highly visible coating for a lighthouse- that's- bulb- had- gone; thence saving two dinghys and a narrow boat from certain unpleasantness"
That's the sort of thing I am used to getting through the post where Short Shorts is concerned.
Luckily, just before I texted her at her Dad's to tell her that she was dead to me now, I read the small print which qualified itself by saying ' for English homework only'.
When I called school, the thing was muddied further as there had been an error in the letter and a report I should have seen and no-one from school had thought to inform Short Shorts of a problem or the letter.
In the meantime this produced in SS many tears, a wish to leave school and a bit of awkwardness since we were sitting on the bar stools in the very see through window of Costa's with a piece of carrot cake the size of my handbag and a daughter face down in it.
I picked her hair out the icing and nibbled round it.
Hey PP. My dashboard appears to have gone tits up and I can't get on to it (got here via email).
ReplyDeletePleased to say the hamster lives ;)
Hopefully I'll be back soon.
Bloody schools! I had a text this morning to say mine were absent (they weren't) - complete panic from my end and then half an hour later I got a text to say they had mad a mistake!
Phew! on the hamster front and 'OMG' to the absent phone call!!! I feel nauseas on your behalf.Hlaf an hour would seem like a lifetime. Glad all well.x
ReplyDeleteI love Costa's carrot cake - just what you need to ease the pain of school muck ups.
ReplyDelete